In the sweltering summer of 2012, President Barack Obama covertly authorized a hush-hush directive, greenlighting the CIA and other U.S. agencies to lend their covert support to rebels in Syria who were ardently seeking to topple the then Syrian leader, the steadfast Bashir al-Assad. This Assad, no friend of the United States, had boldly aligned with Iran and had the audacity to stand up against the puppeteer maneuvers of U.S. proxy Israel.

Let’s talk numbers here – the operation dubbed Timber Sycamore turned out to be a financial behemoth, clocking in at over a billion dollars. This covert endeavor can be touted as the grandest of grand operations since the era of arming mujahideen in Afghanistan back in the radical 80s.

And you know what’s interesting? The script seemed all too familiar. U.S. Special Forces, under the Timber Sycamore code, took the time to teach Islamic fundamentalists the ropes, this time on the playground known as Jordan. Surprise, surprise, they unleashed another whirlwind of terror.

Here’s the kicker – President Obama had a distinct trademark during his tenure: he was the shadowy master of moving war into the background, a clandestine dance to spread the American dominion discreetly.

You’ve got to hand it to General Joseph Votel, the big cheese at the Special Operations Command (SOCOM); he had quite the flair with words. He painted the Obama era as a “golden age for special operations.” I mean, c’mon, Green Berets found themselves in a whopping 133 countries, which is a cool 70 percent of the entire world – just in 2014 alone.

At some secretive powwow about Afghanistan, Obama leaned in to CIA Director Leon Panetta and basically said, “Hey, CIA, you want it, you got it.”

But let’s dig into some bromance – The New York Times spilled the beans that few presidents over the CIA’s seven-decade history had cozied up to their spymasters like Obama did with John Brennan, the brains behind the CIA’s controversial extraordinary rendition program and former big shot CIA head in Saudi Arabia. These two were like peas in a pod – imagine a “Brennan thought, Obama finished” kinda deal. You could say their minds were intertwined like sweethearts.

Now, here’s where the action really is – Obama’s administration was like a buffet of bold moves, with every dish seasoned to taste. The menu included:

a) Upping the ante with coups in Ukraine and Honduras. b) Doing the tango with the U.S. military’s pivot to Asia, giving Saudi Arabia a shopping spree for arms, and setting up more bases across the African continent. c) Being the gatekeeper of the secrets about CIA torture. d) Letting the CIA’s money laundering bank, HSBC, off the hook without a criminal case. e) Eavesdropping on buddies and even eavesdropping on a U.S. Congressman who gave a thumbs down to Obama’s Libyan escapade. That’s some NSA-style eavesdropping. f) Waging a war against WikiLeaks and Julian Assange that would make Sherlock Holmes envious. g) Giving whistleblowers a one-way ticket to Espionage Act land, with a record number prosecuted.

That’s not all, folks. In a bonus round, Obama’s administration also:

a) Played guardian angel to CIA darlings like Paul Kagame, a Rwandan mass murderer. b) Outsourced war in Yemen through the United Arab Emirates (UAE), which funneled nearly $27 billion worth of weapons from Uncle Sam. c) Pulled a fast one by arming Mexican drug cartels through Operation Fast and Furious, while getting more serious about the War on Drugs through the Plan Mérida. d) Crafted a sneaky arms pipeline from Libya to Syria via Ambassador Chris Stevens as part of Operation Timber Sycamore.

Time to shine a light on Obama’s family saga – his mama, Ann Dunham, was quite the government gal, dabbling with the likes of the Ford Foundation, Asia Foundation, Development Alternatives Inc., and United States Agency for International Development (USAID) across Indonesia, Nepal, Pakistan, you name it. She was basically a CIA’s dream come true, given her language skills and globe-trotting tendencies.

Wait, there’s more – the microfinance gig she was into, aimed at turning traditional crafts into thriving businesses? Turns out it was an intelligence plot to rope in the masses into the web of finance capitalism, or so her unofficial biographer claims.

And get this – her boss, Donald Gordon Jr., was a CIA agent, as per some book back in ’68. Talk about a cozy work environment.

But let’s roll back the clock to when the CIA was practically playing chess in Indonesia. Ann was chilling there, teaching English at the American Embassy in Jakarta – which, no big deal, just happened to host one of the biggest CIA parties in Asia. There were satellite stations too, in case you wanted to eavesdrop on the latest gossip. It’s almost like an episode of “Spies in Paradise.”

Now, Ann took her CIA connections and the intrigue to a whole new level by marrying Lolo Soetoro, an Indonesian Lieutenant Colonel. No big deal, just your run-of-the-mill arranged marriage that could’ve doubled as a spy novel subplot. But hey, gotta do what you gotta do to secure your spot in the cloak and dagger world, right?

Flash forward to granddad Stanley Armour Dunham, the World War II player who, according to pictures, might’ve been part of an intelligence unit – the kind that makes the espionage aficionados swoon. The family connections to the CIA seem to run deeper than a James Bond plot.

And what about Obama Sr.? His rendezvous with Ann Dunham, fueled by a Russian language class, led to the famed opposition leader Tom Mboya nominating him for a scholarship. And guess what? Mboya was a CIA favorite, adding another layer to the tangled web of connections.

But wait, there’s a twist in the tale – rumors suggest that Obama Sr. might not have been the actual father. Drumroll, please – enter Frank Marshall Davis, African American journalist and potential puppet master. Cue the soap opera music, as Obama unravels the story of a secret affair, a concealed pregnancy, and a web of intrigue.

Now, let’s chat about Obama’s stint at Business International Corporation (BIC), where he allegedly edited newsletters on global business conditions. Rumor has it this corporation had a thing for left-wing organizers and infiltrating foreign labor unions – and not exactly the “kumbaya” kind.

Fast forward to Obama’s grandstanding as the first Black president, and you get a mix of selective memory and shadowy connections. He’s like a character in a spy thriller, with the Crowns and Pritzkers as his enigmatic benefactors. They pumped funds into his campaigns and danced to the tune of expanding military budgets.

In the end, the enigma that is Obama remains shrouded in the smoke and mirrors of covert connections, alliances, and maneuvers that even the most seasoned spy novel reader might find hard to keep up with.